I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
