it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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