One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
