I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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