I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I need a burrito and a hug.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
