Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
