my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
