u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize