i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
