peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
