that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
