She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
being pregnant is like rehab
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
