enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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