so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
