so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
