now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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