Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
