am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
