Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
