Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
