Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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