All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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