So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
