I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
