3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
