Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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