Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
