I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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