Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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