This girl is more easily done than said...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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