Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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