I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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