Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
