He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You're a waste of cheezeits
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
we're so committed to being not committed
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
