you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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