i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize