wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
