I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
