the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
