Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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