We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
