the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i drank out of a bidet.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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