Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
