so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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