I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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