Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
