High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
