Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
