So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
