There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
