pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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