Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My penis needs a shock collar
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize