Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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