I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
