I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
