she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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