ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
