I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This baby is an asshole
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
