Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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