No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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