we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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