there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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