Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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