Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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