Do you still have your period?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
