i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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