just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
